The Wedgers Rhapsody

By DJ Sammy Mason – Assistant to the Deal Captain

Is this the Deal life?
Is this Walton fantasy?
Caught in this greatness,
No escape from its brilliance

Open your shoulders,
Swing hard to the skies, and see
I’m just a Wedger, I need no mulligan
Because I’m easy win, easy lose,
Little hook, little slice
Any way the match goes doesn’t really matter to me, to me

Waudo, just killed our men,
Put in a Walton Team of strength,
Pulled the trigger, now Deal’s dead.
Hedgo, winning had just begun
But now Deal have gone and thrown it all away.

Hedgo, ooh ooh,
Didn’t mean to go eight – five down
If we’re not back by one this time tomorrow
Drink on, drink on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, Waltons time has come
Send kummel down their throats,
Heads aching all the time.
Goodbye, sh*t results, we’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Waudo’s Mama, ooh ooh,
I don’t want to thanks
I sometimes wish our boy had never been born at all

[Guitar Solo – P. Roberts]

I see a little stiletto at the Wedge
Suffragettes, Suffragettes, will you do the mixed foursomes?
Richards bolts like lightning,
Very, very fright’ning
Waudo. Hedgo.
Waudo. Hedgo.
Gallanto Fento
Magnifico-o-o-o-o

I’ve just done Bowesgate, nobody loves me
It’s just poor Dawesy, a poor heart conditionally
Spare Ed his life from his pomposity.

Easy give, easy miss, will you give this putt?
BIG YIP! No, we will not give that putt. (Let him have the putt!)
FOUR RIGHT! No, we will not give that hole. (Let him have the hole!)
FOUR LEFT! No, we will not give relief. (Let him have relief!)
Will not let you win. (Let me win!)
Never let you win (Never, never, never, never let me win)
Oh oh oh oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, mama Waudo, mama Waudo (Mama Waudo, let me go.)
Better-go-to-the-PUB, crappy weather put aside to pee, to pee, to pee.

So you drink you can play me on New Course, though I prefer Rye?
So you drink you can shove me on Old Course and leave me to die?
Oh, Walton, can’t do this to me, Walton,
Just gotta avoid gout, just gotta get Deal outta here.

Ooooh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah [DP song bird solo]

Wedging really matters,
Anyone can play
Wedging really matters
Wedging really matters to me.

Any way the Wedge goes.