A reply from Walton

Spring is Coming

I left London on the morning of the latest Wedge feeling strangely optimistic. The day started crisp, cold and gloriously sunny, a whiff of spring was in the air. Interpreting this as a metaphor for Walton’s fortunes, I was confident that the barren winter of the previous five Wedge Trophies was behind us. However as we headed east towards that famous stretch of coast, the seasons seemed to regress; sunshine was masked with a grey gloom, the temperature plummeted as the cold northerly winds started to bite. I abandoned my metaphor.

Early Climax

Despite the wintery conditions, team Walton got off to an absolute flyer. Big victories in traps 1, 2, 4 and 6 were only countered by narrow, 18th hole losses in matches 3 and 5. This barnstorming performance was a reminder of the great Walton performances of old. All we had to do was keep the momentum up, sail home on that cold breeze, then tuck into our lasagne with a smug smile on our faces and an old wedge in our hands.

While the afternoon games were tight, team Deal showed courage befitting defending Wedge champions to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. This has to go down as one of the great Wedge comebacks given the kicking they were handed in the morning and the steel showed by the Dandies down the 17th and 18th with so much on the line. Graham Fewster epitomising this by coolly dispatching a tricky little four-and-a-half footer on the last. Well played Deal!

Desperate Times

Looking at the way the matches panned out, it’s obvious that the Waltonites were only fractions away. In fact, if you scrape the barrel enough, (as a proud VC must) then you discover that Walton won their matches by a total of 22 holes. Deal’s total, a meagre 10 holes! It has been suggested by some that this is simply poor partnering by the WH committee, however I strongly disagree. I place the blame squarely at the rules of golf, a colossal injustice that has been overlooked since the rules’ inception over 250 years ago.

Further to the above I have written to the R&A advising them to scrap the archaic one-point-per-game nonsense and move onto a new system, henceforth known as the “Waud-Berryman Aggregation Method”.

Leaving the scoring vagaries to one side, and despite yet another disappointment for the away side, the event goes from strength to strength with every playing. With the tenth fixture just five months away, we currently stand at 5-4 to Walton and the matches only seem to be getting more competitive. On top of this, friendships that will last a lifetime are getting closer as more Doom Bars, dinners and dormy houses are shared. So here’s to years, decades, centuries of happy Wedging to come. I, for one, can’t wait.

Until next time, from your humble servant of Wedge.

Bezzer